Teaching about sexuality is an ongoing responsibility, not just a ‘one-off’ talk
SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT IN EARLY CHILDHOOD
Humans are sexual beings from the day they are born until the day they die. Children have a natural curiosity about their bodies and those of others and enjoy touching and having different parts of their body touched. They do not experience sexual desire in the same way as adults. Acknowledging childhood sexuality helps you to understand and accept childhood sexual behaviour and be able to talk about feelings and behaviours when they happen.
What happens when?
Under three
It is normal and healthy for babies to explore and touch their bodies, including their genitals, in a pleasurable way. Before birth a female baby’s vagina will lubricate and a male baby’s penis will become erect. Very young children are developing positive or negative messages about their bodies by the way they are cuddled, touched and spoken to. By observing adults, they are learning attitudes about sexuality and relationships. Towards the age of three they may show an increased interest in their genitals and the genitals of others and may be fascinated by watching others go to the toilet, sometimes trying to imitate the other sex.
Three to five-year-olds
Children in this age group show increased curiosity about themselves and their bodies. They may show an awareness of body differences and ask questions about these. For example, girls may ask why they don’t have a penis. Questioning may also include ‘Where did I come from?’ and ‘How does the baby get out of the mummy?’ This curiosity allows for gradual discussion about the names and functions of body parts as well as simple information about fertilisation, pregnancy and birth.
Sexual play such as ‘show me yours’ and ‘doctors and nurses’ is common and some children may mimic adult sexual behaviour they might observe on television. Similarly they may use swear words or ‘toilet’ words, and repeat jokes they overhear. As children approach school age they begin to develop a sense of what is considered acceptable behaviour. While many children will masturbate, they generally understand that it is not appropriate in public. For some this may need to be gently reinforced.
Five to eight-year-olds
Children of this age group may engage in sex play and exhibitionism. This could include games at school, in the playground, or in the toilet, such as peering under toilet doors. Sexual exploration may occur with children of the other or same sex. Children may show a strong interest in male and female roles and demonstrate this by copying the behaviour of a parent or other close adult. Generally children enjoy hearing about their own birth and what they were like as a baby and most will show a great interest in fertilisation, pregnancy and birth. However, some children may have learnt that this is a ‘rude’ subject to ask about. This may prevent them from asking questions about these issues or cause them to giggle with embarrassment when they are spoken about.
Some eight or nine-year-olds, particularly girls, may show early signs of puberty, so it is important that they have received plenty of information and reassurance, not only about the physical changes of puberty, but the emotional and social changes as well. It is also a good time to talk in more detail about sex, pregnancy and birth, as well as privacy and personal safety.
